Tuesday 20 July 2010

Endings & Beginnings



It’s been a strange old morning of endings and beginnings. In the post was a letter and cheque from my solicitor; Probate on my Mum’s estate is finally at an end. It’s taken almost 18 months to complete and has taken a huge toll on me. I’ve longed for it to be over and done with so that I can start remembering my Mum and grieving for her without all the horrible legal stuff running alongside it. There were tears this morning of relief that it’s over and sadness because I still don’t have my Mum here.

Coincidentally, and it seems like fate intervened on this, Paul and I had arranged a viewing of the house for this morning. So still in tears from reading the letter we went to view the house. This is our final check of the property before we sign the contract on Thursday. It was conflicting emotions for me sitting outside the house, knowing that my Mum has enabled us to get a foot on the property ladder but longing for her to be here to see the house with us.

Walking around the house it felt like ours. Our home. Ours. I can see us living there and enjoying doing it up and making it everything we want it to be. And when we do, I know my Mum’s presence will be all around me. She would be so proud and so happy for us. All she ever wanted for her children was their happiness and their security. Thanks to Paul I am finding happiness again and thanks to my Mum I have security for all my life. I am so proud of her and so thankful to have had such an amazing Mum. 

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