Remembering my Mum

It's two years today since my Mum died and I feel incredibly sad. I either saw or spoke to my Mum every single day of my life and it's so hard to think that I haven't been able to for two years. It breaks my heart. It's still so hard to believe that she's gone. A quote just showed on my sidebar that sums up how it feels:

'That was the thing. You never got used to it, the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it's reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you, and it hits you all over again, that shocking' - Sarah Dessen.

I spent all yesterday morning sobbing and was tearful on and off for the rest of the day. Today I'm much the same but I am trying to focus on happy memories rather than her final hours. I really want to share some photos of happy times and thought my blog was a good place to do this.

Mum and me on my first birthday

The day Mum brought me home, I was only a few days old. Mum is on the left of the photo holding me and on the right is Mum's sister holding my cousin Caroline

My brother Philip, Mum and I on a visit to see our cousins in Nottingham

Mum all dressed up to go to her best friend's wedding. 

My Nan, me and my Mum. I adore this photo of the three of us.

Mum. me and Philip on a visit to the Yorkshire Moors 

Me, Mum and Philip on a holiday at Butlins. Mum hated swimming but made sure to always take us. She also hated her figure but I think she looks amazing in her bikini.

Philip, me, Gareth and Mum on my 18th birthday 

Me, Mum and Philip on a bike ride near where we lived

On the day the Duke and Duchess of York got married my school invited Mums and kids to do a fashion show wearing wedding outfits. My Mum hated being the centre of attention but we persuaded her to join in wearing her wedding dress. I was so proud of my Mum that day. I'm in the photo too wearing my bridesmaid dress from my cousin's wedding (I'm stood just behind my Mum wearing a head-dress).

Philip, Mum and me on a day at the seaside

Mum reading with Philip and I. 

Photo taking in America in 1980. My Great-Grampy, Great-Granny, Mum and I. I love this photo.

My Mum with our cousins Kathy and Ken. Taken on my Mum's birthday while on visiting them in Seattle in 2000.

The last photo of the four of us before Mum got really ill. It was taken in July 2008, just after Mum was diagnosed with cancer.  This was a happy day though and I love this photo of us, it's one I treasure.

I know this is a self-indulgent blog post today but it's made me feel better to add these photos of my Mum. It's good for me to remind myself of the many, many happy times we all had together.